You can say it under your breath, in private, with your friends, and…. in your Westridge classes. Swearing is not uncommon among Westridge students and faculty alike, which makes sense considering the lack of clear rules or policies surrounding cursing at school. 

“I mean, I don’t think nobody [curses],” said Honor M. ‘28. Students swear. It’s not uncommon for students to let language loose with their friends, to their friends, and even within earshot of teachers. However, most teachers are lenient when they overhear cursing. “These kinds of things don’t really phase me,” said Upper School History Teacher Ms. Sandy de Grijs.

On the other hand, inside the classroom, cursing from students is much more uncommon. Senior Josephine W. said, “People generally are very good at being responsible about cursing in the classroom.”

Upper School Dean of Student Support Ms. Bonnie Martinez said, “Kids, at least in my experience, have decorum, and they know the time and place.” 

At Westridge, it is up to the teachers to formulate rules surrounding swearing in their classrooms because there is no official policy around cursing. Many students find that each teacher views cursing differently, but on the whole, English and history classes are more prone to including swearing over STEM classes. “It really depends,” said Josephine W.

Some teachers, like Ms. de Grijs and Upper School English Teacher Ms. Molly Yurchak, hear students curse in class every once and a while. The classrooms where cursing appears the most are classes with teachers who are open to such language or have occasionally modeled it.

Other classes however, including the Ceramics Studio where Upper School Art Teacher Ms. Lorri Deyer teaches, are curse free zones. Ms. Deyer has set clear expectations in her classroom verbally and with a swear jar, and when that boundary is set, it is respected.

The variety of teacher opinions on swearing allows students to learn for themselves how to approach language in different situations. “You have to be able to know what the situation is—read the room. And I think it can be perilous if you don’t have that skill,” said Ms. Yurchak.

For the most part, cursing rarely presents itself as a problem. Students are more likely to hear reminders around the dress code than they are about profanity. Ms. Martinez, whose role includes leading the Restorative Council, said “[Cursing] has never really been an issue, and I don’t think we’ve ever really had to [address cursing] in all the conversations.”

The teachers that allow cursing in their classrooms find that Westridge’s environment supports this nonchalant attitude towards profanity. “One of the things I love about Westridge that I’m going to miss the most when I retire is this kind of wonderful familiarity that teachers have with students…that sometimes lends itself to kids and teachers, just relaxing a little bit,” said Ms. de Grijs.

Ms. Martinez likewise feels that Westridge culture lends itself to informality around cursing. “[At Westridge,] we’re traditional, but we’re so progressive too. With everything, with identity, the way people express themselves, I feel like we’re freer, and maybe that’s why I don’t notice [profanity],” she said.

Westridge’s identity as a girls school might also play a role in the culture around swearing. Historically, women are expected to be polite and demure, meaning cursing has become more taboo for females compared to their male counterparts. According to Clinical Psychologist Dr. Nina Shine, “Language plays a significant role in perpetuating patriarchal norms, including the policing of women’s speech.”

At Westridge, students are often encouraged to express themselves and find their voice. This value is antithetical to the reasons women are discouraged from cursing, so in theory, Westridge should promote students to use their voice how they see fit, even when that includes cursing—and in many cases, Westridge does.

Ms. Yurchak said, “I definitely wouldn’t want to say no cursing at a girls school, because we’re not a finishing school. We’re not trying to make you little ladies for society.”

Plenty of derogatory language is rooted in misogyny and profanity is commonly aimed at women. “I don’t think that female cursing necessarily matches that. We do that in the opposite direction, in a way,” said Ms. Yurchak.

Language has evolved over time and many words originating in misogyny are being reclaimed by women. The risk of certain language being used against women is lowered at an all girls school. Additionally, traditional ideas surrounding formality and etiquette are different in today’s world. 

“By swearing, women break free from emotional constraints, leading to a healthier emotional expression that fosters self-awareness and emotional growth,” said Dr. Shine.

However, the intersection between this feminist expression and what is appropriate at school is still not decided. Some teachers and faculty intentionally monitor their own language despite the lack of official policies around cursing. Director of Counseling and Student Support Dr. Lisa LaFave swears in her personal life, but restricts her language at Westridge. “There’s something about being an authority figure and representing the school where it just doesn’t feel quite right,” she said. 

Similarly, Ms. Deyer monitors language in her classes for the well-being of her students. “I want to make everybody feel safe and comfortable in ceramics,” she said.

On the other hand, many students notice more frequent cursing from teachers than students when in class, and most take no issue with it. Ms. Yurchak curses on occasion in her classroom, which she explains to her students in the first few days of school. “[Cursing] can open students up to realize that they can be real in the classroom, and they can be unguarded in the classroom, that the classroom is actually a safe space. I’ve never had a student say that they were uncomfortable about it,” she said.

When Ms. de Grijs has experienced students walking into the history office and hearing her or her colleagues swear she said, “We just laugh, you know, we’re humans. What a surprise.” Molly G. ‘27 is unbothered by hearing cursing from teachers. “They’re adults,” she said.

In the Lower and Middle School, the expectations around swearing are much more explicit—pun intended. Director of Lower and Middle School Dr. Zanita Kelly will initiate a conversation about core values if a lower school student is heard using a curse word. Parents are called and apologies are facilitated if necessary. In middle school, students are also discouraged from cursing due to the school environment and proximity to younger students. “When you are at school or at work, there is a set of expectations around how you are comporting yourself,” said Dr. Kelly.

Sixth graders Lulu H. and Hillary W. use modified cursed words such as “frick” and find no issue as long as these words are not used to hurt others. They believe that harsher swears such as the f-word are inappropriate for school and feel uncomfortable when they hear them from upper school students.

As a school Westridge is tolerant of swearing outside of the classroom while inside the classroom there are varied levels of boundaries with profanity. There are no clear expectations around cursing, leaving the balance between personal and feminist expression, respect, and professionalism up for debate.

Ms. Yurchak approaches language consciously and uses the power of certain words for expression. “Swear words often express an emotion and an intensity that cannot be duplicated, cannot be conveyed in another language,” said Ms. Yurchak.

Dr. LaFave sees swearing as a way for people to express themselves with words that have more impact than others. “I think some people might say [swearing is] kind of a lazy way of expressing yourself, but I think there are times where cursing makes a really fine point,” said Dr. LaFave.

Dr. Kelly believes that to be articulate it is important not to depend on “crass” language. “I feel like if we had a better vocabulary, you’d have to raise and elevate your argument, or whatever it is that you’re trying to express because you need to use different language to express that,” said Dr. Kelly.

Dr. Kelly’s point raises questions around what language is acceptable in an—according to the school mission—“intellectually adventurous” space. Westridge strives to teach students how to interact with texts thoughtfully, discuss world events, and be critical thinkers. Can or should swearing co-exist intentionally and thoughtfully on campus? 

The Student/Parent Handbook does not mention swearing other than on page 53, where it includes verbal harassment as an example of “prohibited harassment.” Verbal harassment through swearing was not something that came up with students or teachers as an issue, but the lack of any further policies regarding swearing has left teachers and students to decide what is acceptable in the classroom.

Swearing policies in athletics are equally vague, but Director of Athletics Coach Alice Lee hopes to address this and create more concrete policies. Coach Lee aims to make athletics a space that does not allow any cursing from athletes, coaches, or music played during practice.

Coach Lee wants to make athletics a more inclusive and comfortable space for all of the Westridge community by having boundaries around language. As someone coming from a collegiate athletics environment, Coach Lee knows the importance of clear expectations. “We don’t just have our students who come to games, right? We have families, we have community members, we have everyone across the board. And we want to make sure that those who come to our games…have an enjoyable time,” said Coach Lee. 

Josephine has not found an issue with any language she has heard from her time in Middle and Upper School and did not see the need for any policy. “We’re already generally being very respectful of the academic environment we’re in… I don’t really think we need to increase [policies],” said Josephine.

Without any clear expectations, it is up to teachers and students to decide their limits in the classroom and adapt to their surroundings. Ms. Deyer said, “[Cursing] is part of [students] learning how to own the language and learn how to be you.”