If you ask the upper schoolers about Tigers, Stripes and Cubs, they will most likely say they enjoy bonding with younger students. If you ask the Lower Schoolers about Tigers, Stripes, and Cubs, they will most likely say they enjoy making connections. However, if you ask the Middle Schoolers about the program, you’ll most likely get a 2-minute speech about how they have better things to do. 

This year, Middle Schoolers were added to Tigers and Cubs as “stripes.” But what was supposed to feel like a big-sister, little-sister connection ended up feeling more like posing for an awkward family photo where one of the kids is obviously not happy about being there.

Despite the enthusiasm of the Lower School, Middle School students reported feeling disconnected from their groupmates. The interactions felt forced and awkward.  Developing relationships was challenging, and the experience really depended on the individuals–some of whom didn’t show up regularly.

“You can’t stick random people together and expect them to click,” says one unnamed middle school student.

However, the pairings weren’t intended to be random. At the beginning of the school year, forms were sent out to students asking about their interests. The information was then used to create the groups of Upper, Middle, and Lower Schoolers.  Ms. Farrell Heydorff, the Dean of Student Activities and Auxiliary Programs, wanted to help build bonds between students in different grade levels and bring a big-sibling, little-sibling connection to Westridge.  “The number one purpose of Tigers, Cubs, and stripes was to make connections between students in all divisions,” said Ms. Heydorff.

The Tigers and Cubs program was originally developed last year as a replacement for Greek and Roman families.  The biggest change? The new program was an opt-in opportunity for Upper Schoolers. Ms. Heydorff intended for Middle Schoolers to participate last year. Her original vision was to pair one seventh grader with one eighth grader, keeping the Middle Schoolers entirely separate from the Lower and Upper Schooler pairings. But that never happened, and Middle School students sat that year out. 

Despite the new and improved format, which includes all grades, middle school students still feel the squeeze between eager lower schoolers and disinterested or absent upper schoolers.  “My Tiger only showed [up] once or twice,” said one middle school student. Ms. Heydorff shared that some Tigers tried to back out of the program after the first meeting, claiming they didn’t realize what they signed up for. Some of those upper school students continued to participate reluctantly or bailed altogether. There were also times when upper schoolers were legitimately absent, putting pressure on unprepared middle schoolers to manage their lower school cubs.  

Time has also been an issue–not enough time for the activity and too much time in between meetings.  On any given activity, half of the time goes to finding group mates and the other half to the actual activity. Some middle schoolers say that it’s possible they could enjoy [the program], but “We don’t see them enough,” says Matilda R. ’31.

“The people I was with were really nice, but I don’t think I got that close with them because there weren’t that many meetings, and they were kinda short,” said Becca P. ’30.

Between the lack of time and level of engagement, it’s hard to build connections, especially since some students aren’t super open to talking to new people. Even with these challenges, Ms. Heydorff hopes it’s an improvement on the previous format of Greek and Roman families. For starters, a few students from each grade were randomly selected and assigned to a family based on whether they were Greek or Roman, rather than making groups around shared interests.  

“What we found was some families did the activities together and were really engaged, and then some families were feeling a little less engaged, and a lot of it depended on who the upper school student was,” said Ms. Heydorff.

A current seventh grader, who was a cub last year, enjoyed the Tiger-Cub set up. “I liked it, because you just had one buddy instead of like three,” she says. As the saying goes, “two’s company, three’s a crowd.”  And several students described the overall experience as “awkward,” “tense,” and “forced.”  

Ms. Heydorff hopes to schedule more activity opportunities next year and streamline logistics to maximize the time. Additionally, her thinking is that this year’s eighth graders will be more prepared to be Tigers next year, if they choose to opt into the program.  “It’ll just keep getting better,” says Ms. Heydorff.