What to Say When You Get Dress Coded

It’s Cookie Tuesday, the sun is shining, and you’re making your way to H-block in your Westridge sweatpants, Urban Outfitters crop top, and navy-blue flannel. You turn a corner and—poof!—Gary Baldwin appears out of thin air. You try to avoid eye contact, but he sees you. He knows. Your brow starts to sweat. You can run, but you can’t hide—your backpack is too big for that. He eyes your outfit. Slowly, he approaches. “That’s not in dress code,” he says.

What’s a Westridge student to do? If you’re caught bare-midriff’d, sweatpants’d, or spaghetti-shoulder’d, these tried-and-true excu—ahem—approaches— might just get you out of jail free:

1. “I’m taking Perspectives and wearing this tank top is part of my thesis on disrupting the establishment.”

2. “My dog ate the lower half of my shirt.”

3. “I’d be in dress code if I knew which Canvas module had the Westridge Student Handbook.”

4. “I’ve just changed for PE…Yes, I work out in Birkenstocks and overalls.”

5. “I stared at my Delta Math graphing assignment for so long, my vision faltered, and I couldn’t see my clothes when I put them on.”

6. “The real question, Mr. Baldwin, is, why do the bathrooms smell so bad?”

7. “Look!! Squirrel!!”