Ilena M.

Imagined Conversations With Weird Neighbors While Trick-Or-Treating

The Neighborhood Dentists

You: Trick or treat!

Dentists: Here’s a toothbrush. Make sure to brush your teeth for at least 2 minutes tonight! 

You: Ok. Do you have any candy?

Dentists: Ha! Toothpaste IS the dentist industry’s candy.

You: Huh.


The Raisin Givers

You: Trick or Treat!

Raisin Giver: Happy Halloween! Which type of raisins do you want? We’ve got both green and purple grapes.

You: I’m okay, thanks.

Raisin Givers: We’ve got prunes inside as well.



The Ones Who Pretends Not to be Home

You: *ring doorbell*

Ones Who Pretend Not to Be Home: *runs quickly to turn off all the lights* 




You: *walks up to house*

Get-off-my-lawn-ers: “GET OFF MY LAWN”

You: *stays*

*Sprinklers go off. You, a now damp ghost, wander back to the street, cold, shivering, leaving behind a trail of water droplets.*


The Rich Dads who give out King Size Candy Bars 

You: *walks up to extravagant mansion*

Rich Dad: *opens the door and holds out a big bucket of kings sized candy bars*

You: Thanks.

Rich Dad: Door slams 

You: *With a sigh of defiant protest, you chuck the candy bar into the bushes. Realize later it wasn’t worth it.*


The Actually Scary House

You: *debating if you should go up to the house*

*the front door opens by itself and a gust of wind blows in your face*

You: *runs*


The Lonely Cat Lady

You: Trick or Treat

Cat Lady: *opens door and a bunch of cats are seen all around her* 

You: Would you like some mints dear?

*sees 10 cats staring into your soul*

“Um- I think I’m good!”

*runs away before cats can find your social security number, Instagram, and where you live*


The Highschool Party Animals

*loud music blasting*

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