How to Get Away with Trick-or-Treating as an Older Teen

Anxiety begins to rise after you ring the doorbell. To mask the difference between your voice and the high-pitched voices of the 5-year-old children surrounding you, you meekly yell out “Trick-or-Treat”. The door swings open and a 7-year-old boy looks you up and down in disbelief that a teenager more than twice his age is trick-or-treating. Yes, to give you comfort, this situation hasn’t just happened to you. Here is how to get away with trick-or-treating as an older teen: 

1. Use a high-pitched voice
2. Invest in miniature plastic hands to discreetly hold under long shirt sleeves
3. Attach baby shoes to your knees and walk on your knees all night
4. Bring a baby stroller and pretend that you are getting candy for the “baby that is sleeping in the stroller”
5. Time-travel back to when you were six-years-old and steal candy from your past self
6. Switch brains with a toddler
7. At this point forget about trick-or-treating. Your only mission is to get the candy. Locate the house with the big candy bars. Break in through the back door and steal candy.